fat.

I miss you guys. I'm a little sad. I need to get back into Blogland. I haven't read or posted in a very very long time. I've been struggling, quite clearly, as my weight ticker has crept back up to 226 (18 pounds higher than my lowest--yikes!)
I thought I'd exercise more and eat better during student teaching. Not so. I'm not sure why I let myself get so bad again. My cooperating teacher is selling candy and chips and stuff in her classroom to help fundraiser for a trip she's taking the kids on to Boston and Salem (we cover the witch trials in our class) and today for lunch, I had a bag of Ritz bits sandwich crackers and a Butterfinger bar. Forgot my water bottle today so I went to the faculty lounge to get a bottle...they were out. I tried getting the only other non-carbonated beverage in the machine, which was iced tea. Also sold out. I'm sitting here drinking a delicious regular Coke that I tried (to no avail) to flatten. Sigh. Old bad habits. How do you get rid of them once you've found yourself slipping back into them?

Kids are Awesome

Today, a student was telling me about a verbal confrontation he had at last week's football game. It was with an overweight student from the rival school. It ended with my student telling the other kid to go eat a Hoho. I told my student that was rude and not all fat people like Hohos, to which he replied, "Well you're not fat." Awesome NSV for me. I had another one, but can't for the life of me remember what it was. Hoping to have some good old fashioned SVs soon, but I've been having too many carbs and sweets and that just needs to stop. Hope all you lovelies are well.

xoxo

Quick Check In

Hey lovelies! Hope you all had a fabulous time in Chicago! You're all looking spectacular. Maybe one of these years I'll get there.

Super busy with student teaching (which is amazing, by the way!) but just wanted to stop by for a quick update. Weight is going down, food choices are getting better. Met a substitute teacher today who's lost 140 pounds in 2 years with diet and exercise, no wls. Super inspirational. She lives in the next town over. Told her about my band and she offered to be my weekend workout buddy. Not sure when that'll start, but I'm so glad I got to meet her.

Off to finish this week's lesson plans.

xoxo

Lost

Due to a series of events, I've not posted my one year update. This isn't it; I don't have pictures because my camera got messed up. I also don't feel as though I'm in the right mental state to create the literary masterpiece that I wish to be my one year post.

Anyway, the title of this post is "Lost" because that's how I've been feeling. Consumed with schoolwork, I've been having a terrible time with motivating myself to continue to eat right and exercise. I haven't been blogging or keeping up with reading blogs and I hate when I let myself do that. Every so often, I disappear from my blog for a while. I think I might take a scheduled hiatus until I get myself back in order.

I started student teaching on the 27th and so far I'm really enjoying it. I found out that the teacher who had WLS is actually in the classroom right next door to me and she's been extremely kind and helpful, both academically and on the weight loss front. I had a talk with her today about lack of motivation and so I think she's going to be keeping an eye on me for accountability. I might start exercising with my cooperating teacher after school. We'll see. Anyway, the teacher next door had gastric bypass in December of 2009. Her highest was 319 and she's currently at 167. She looks great. I hope I can get myself turned around. I've been struggling for so long now. I know exactly what I need to do, I just need to actually do it. I'm rambling. I'll try catching up on blogs asap. I love and miss you all.

xoxo

My, How Time Flies

It's been almost a year since my surgery. I can't believe it. It's gone so fast. My one year bandiversary is August 4th, so I've decided I'll be doing my official weigh in on that date, rather than doing my weekly weigh in tomorrow. It's going to be a busy weekend (Ben's brother and sister-in-law are coming up for a visit, and we're finding some items to sell at Ben's parents' neighborhood yard sale), but I promise I'll find the time to do an anniversary post. It's too important to miss.

Speaking of the yard sale, I did some hardcore sweating today going through boxes in the shed, sorting items, and carrying heavy boxes from the shed to the house. It wasn't very much fun, but it was effective. Hopefully all that work will pay off and we'll get a few bucks from the yard sale.

Oh, almost forgot to mention...I ate Oreo truffles, ice cream cake, and pizza at my brother's birthday gathering. What is it about family functions that make me lose all control? Sigh. Haven't weighed, but hoping the damage isn't too severe. I guess we'll find out Saturday.

Hope everyone's having a good week.

xoxo

Finally Back in the Right Direction (week 51)

Last week's fill plus logging my food has really helped with the weight loss. I'm down to 213.4, which is the lowest I've seen on the scale since we've been back from vacation...in MAY. 3.1 pounds down from last week and only 5 more pounds to go to reach my all-time low, so I'm pretty excited about that. I really feel like I got a good fresh start with this time and I don't want to screw it up this time.
I think I'm going to go to my first Jazzercise class next week. I was waiting for my sister-in-law to be able to go with me, but she's busy, so maybe I'll just go by myself. Unless Chris would want to go with me.

In other news, I met with my cooperating teacher for student teaching yesterday. It went well. She seems really cool. She wants me to be as independent in the classroom as possible and she's even letting me have a say in the rules and procedures for the semester. I'm starting to get excited. The school is pretty nice. What I really liked about it was that each year, they have their senior art students paint their own murals on the walls. We're talking floor to ceiling student artwork. It was awesome. There was abstract art, unicorns, sports jerseys, the pink panther...anything and everything the students could imagine. It's so great. I told my teacher about my WLS because I want to make sure I'm able to have snacks and water with me in the classroom. She said that would be fine because she brings stuff all the time. She also said that another woman in the English department had WLS. Might have to make friends with her. All in all, it seems like it'll be a really good experience. I'm really starting to feel like I'm ready for this :)

I've got a busy weekend ahead: brother's birthday's the 29th and daddy's is the 31st, so I'll be doing that, plus (hopefully) spending some coupons at Fashion Bug. So sad they're going out of business. Not sure if I'll be working this weekend as the woman I work for was admitted to the hospital. Hope she's ok. She's been having some heart problems. If she's not out for my shift with her tomorrow, I'm going to call my company to see if I'm allowed to visit her. I've been working for her for about a year and a half now and we've gotten pretty close. If this is her time, I'd just like to be able to say goodbye, which I don't think is too much to ask. But, hopefully she's ok and she'll be out of the hospital soon. Anyway, hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

xoxo

Week 50

50 weeks to the day since my lap band surgery. Weird. So, I had my appointment with the P.A. this morning. She didn't get on me too bad about not having been there in a long time. She was a lot less upset with me than I expected. I told her about how my low was 208 around Easter and then with finals and vacation, I gained 8 pounds and I've been more or less maintaining that since we got back. Told her that I wanted to lose more weight before I came back to see her and that's why I wasn't in sooner, but then I wasn't losing the weight and so I decided it was probably better to come in and be honest with her rather than be stuck at this stupid weight (216.5 on my scale while naked, 219 on theirs, clothed *side note: does your scale differ from the one at your doctor's office? which do you go by?). She said that was good and if I start to gain again, she's the first person I should talk to. I took my food log to her and she seems to think one of the big reasons for my stall is that I was getting too much fat. Now, I feel really stupid about this because it seems so obvious, but no one ever told me an amount of fat that I was supposed to stay under, nor was I ever told to count it. I've just been doing calories and protein. Since she mentioned it it seems like I should have been doing it the whole time and I feel silly, but I didn't know. Oh well. I'm now to stay under 30 grams of fat per day. I'm also eating too many carbs, she said. Will work on it.

We didn't talk much about exercise. I told her about our 4 mile hike while we were camping and how it killed my feet. She told me to invest in a good pair of shoes. She recommended a pair for $190.00. Yeah. Like hell. And she said they need to be replaced every 6 months or 300 miles. HA. Absolutely no way. It just seems preposterous. Maybe when I get a big girl job, but even then, not likely. I was surprised that she actually gave me a fill today. I got .5ccs bringing me up to a total of 3.2. I'm on liquids for two days, then two days of soft then back to regular. She wants to see me back in 4 weeks with my food journal, so I have an appointment on August 17th, 10 days before I start student teaching.

And speaking of student teaching, my teacher called me last night and we talked for about a half hour. She seems pretty awesome. She's going to meet me at the high school this Wednesday so that she can show me the school and introduce me to the administration so that I don't die of fright the first day. I thought that was really nice of her. And she's going to give me a textbook, too, so I can become familiar with it. She said we'd be doing Arthur Miller's The Crucible, for sure. I'm good with that because I read it in 11th grade and they have it on Netflix and I actually just watched it about a month ago. Plus, I feel like some really cool assignments can come from the Salem Witch Trials. I've always been interested in that part of America's history. So, I guess things are falling into place. Can't believe I'm graduating in December. That's all for now. I hope you're all having a fabulous week!

xoxo