Celebrating the Big 5-0 (Week 29)

You're right, I'm so not talking about my age! Finally, after 29 weeks banded, I am celebrating the wonderful SV of having lost 50 pounds. The scale this morning read...

213.6, people! That puts me at 50.8 lbs down from the date of surgery, 65.4 from my highest ever and a lovely 4.4 down from last week's weigh in! I'm super excited. I go for my next appointment in a little over two weeks and I definitely feel I can reach my goal of 210 by then. And since we're talking about goals, my birthday is the 19th of April and my goal is to be in Onederland by that date. That's something I haven't seen on the scale in just about twelve years, so I'm really hoping this will be the year that I'll celebrate that victory. 

In other, non-band-related news, Ben and I got to pick up our pottery from our anniversary extravaganza. I love my vase. Here's a picture of it with the flowers that Ben brought home for me on Valentine's Day :)

Love it!

Anyway, sorry I haven't been commenting much. I've been reading, I promise, it's just there's always something going on with school. It's been a rough semester, but so far, so good. Actually I've got to go take an online quiz now, so I'm going to end it here. Hope everyone's having a great week!

xoxo

Week 28 A Little Late

I'm sorry, friends, but I just really haven't felt like blogging. I've been worried to even start a post because I was concerned that it would turn into a big negative ball of yuck. I'm going to try to keep it on the positive side today, but I do have a few negatives that I'll share. 1. I've been feeling pretty sub-par. Something's been wrong with my eyes for about a month now and I've become extremely sensitive to light. It's so bad that sometimes even our living room lamp makes my eyes water. Going to the doctor next Friday to get that checked out. 2. I've gained and it's no wonder because I haven't tracked my food for about two weeks now. 3. School is obnoxious. Actually, speaking of school, would anyone be willing to help me out? I'm taking a research for writers class this semester and I have to choose a topic and interview 3 people about it and pretend like I'm going to write an article about it for publishing. I'm really not going to try to get anything published, we're just supposed to follow the steps that someone would take if they were trying to get published. Anyhow, the topic I chose was lap band surgery, so, if anyone wants to volunteer to be interviewed by me, I'd super appreciate it.

On to the positive now:
My 5 year anniversary/Valentine's celebration day on Saturday was awesome. Ben really outdid himself and while he didn't propose, we had a fabulous time. When I got home from work that day, he gave me 5 cards with various times on them. The first one I got to open immediately and it said that we'd spend the whole day reliving old memories and making new ones. Each card held a choice, so really the whole date was up to me. The first card was called "a day at the museum". He gave me the choice between the Andy Warhol Museum and the Mattress Factory Museum. I chose the latter of the two because we both have always wanted to go there due to its uniqueness and such good reviews. We got there and felt so ridiculously out of place. Here's what I mean...

The first exhibit was a bandster's worst nightmare.
A whole room FULL of bread!

It was crazy, I tell you!

It looks so good, too. But anyway, the rest of the museum was more peculiar than this room, believe it or not.
There was an overly clean room, which gave me terrible anxiety...

And there were these polka dot rooms, which were actually my favorite.

Not optimal for photography, but you get the idea.

Not prime for photos, though, but kind of neat in person.

Moving on, the next envelope was for dinner. I've been crazy for spicy/Mexican food ever since surgery (so weird-never cared for it pre-op), so he made reservations at an upscale Mexican restaurant, but he ended up calling to cancel because I liked the other option better. It was a small family owned restaurant called Carmi's in Pittsburgh's North Side neighborhood. We were there once about a year ago and they had amaaaazing comfort food. Best mac and cheese ever. So, we went there and had a bit of a carb-fest. Their dinners come with two sides and soup or salad, and cornbread. Not bandster friendly, but mighty tasty. We both got the spare rib dinner which came with 2 ribs. I ate those, plus one side of mac and cheese, a cup of chicken and dumplings, and a few bites of cornbread. It was heavenly. Regrettable when I saw a gain of 3 lbs on Monday morning, but way tasty.

After dinner, the next envelope gave me the option to do go see a live show at a cafe in town or to go to the Carnegie Science Center to see a laser show (something we used to do all the time). I chose the latter and we got there way early, so we played around the science center before Laser Lady Gaga started. Once we got up to the planetarium to see the show, we found roughly 20 fourth graders already seated. I don't normally like children in large quantities but it was so funny to watch them dance and hear them sing. It was cute. The only good picture of us together was taken at the laser show...

It's not even all that good because my eyes are weird...Whatever.

Afterwards, we got in the car and he gave me the fourth card. This time, I had no choice. We went and painted pottery! I'd been saying for a few weeks that I wanted to do it, so we went to a little shop and did that. I picked a vase and he picked a cup. We actually get to go pick them up tomorrow because they needed to be glazed, so I'm pretty excited about that. Here's what we ended up with...

During

After

It was a really fun time. Then, for my final card, I had the choice between going to Eat n Park (local chain restaurant where we had our first date) or the Melting Pot. I can't turn down the Melting Pot! So, we ended up having both cheese and chocolate fondue (and I may have had a sangria). We told them we were celebrating our 5 year anniversary and they gave me a carnation and they provided some champagne for us to toast with. I've been very good about not having carbonation since being banded, but I tried a sip of the champagne. It wasn't sweet enough for my liking, so I let Ben have the rest. All in all, it was an amazing time and I really think he's going to have trouble trying to top this date when he proposes.

Also, I got my brother and sister-in-law a dog today. She's obsessed with pugs and for forever she's wanted one-specifically a black male. She wanted to get it before the baby came so she'd have time to train it, but she just couldn't find one in her price range. It just so happened that my friend at school has to move and it came up in casual conversation that she was looking to rehome her black male pug. Crazy, right? So, I went and got him today and he's at their house right now. Justin had to leave for work at 7 and Anna's working til 11:30, so she's just going to walk in and there'll be a surprise puppy. I hope she doesn't get scared when she walks in the house. He'll be a year old next month, so he and the baby can grow up together. I'm super excited about it. He's such a sweet dog, too.

Food-wise, I've been trying to get back on track since our date, but it's been hard. We have Ben's mom's birthday to celebrate this weekend and we're going to Applebee's. I already know I'm going to order the grilled chicken wonton tacos, so I won't go overboard. I'm sure there will be dessert--I'm going to make Ben share with me whether he wants to or not. Hopefully I'll be back down to a good weight next week.

Speaking of weight, Ben did get me the Wii console so I've been playing Wii fit-how come none of you told me how downright rude that thing can be? Jeez. I step on it and it says "ouch". I skip a day and it judges me for being "too busy" for it? My goodness, I just wasn't expecting that. Apparently I've got terrible balance, but my running skills are somewhat decent. I'm actually really enjoying it and I'm glad Ben got it for me for our anniversary. Good investment, I think.

I'm pretty sure I've rambled on loooong enough for tonight, so I'm just going to stop there. Sorry for being MIA for the last week. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Oh, and Happy belated Valentine's day. Love you all!!

xoxo

A First, A Bandiversary A NSV, And a Wonderful Weekend Ahead

It's been a rough week, bloggers. I really wanted to post this yesterday, but I ran out of time between school work and work work. But, better late than never, I suppose.

I'll start off with my "first". It's not something awesome, either. It's actually kind of gross. You can skip it if you'd like. You see, on Tuesday, I was sitting in the library at school working on an online exam. I had a piece of chicken ready to go for my lunch, but there were people all around. I suppose I haven't gotten it into my mind that people aren't going to judge me for eating in public...after all, everyone has to eat, right? Yeah, I should have thought about that. By the time the area cleared out, it was 3:15. My class starts at 3:30. So, I figure, ok, I only have the chicken, nothing else, so I'll just eat it real fast and be on my merry way to class. I'll be the first to admit that I was a huge freaking IDIOT. I ate my 3 oz chicken breast in 4 minutes. As soon as I finished, I knew that that was quite possibly the worst decision I'd ever made. I walked over to the building for my next class, in pain the whole way. "Take slow breaths" I told myself "you'll be ok". It was the worst feeling ever. So, I go upstairs and sit down at my desk. My mouth begins to fill with saliva. I can't swallow--there's nowhere for it to go. Luckily, my dad bought me a metal water bottle for Christmas, so I faked taking a drink and I spit into that. Shortly after, my mouth was full of saliva again. This spitting and filling went on until 4:00 when finally, the saliva thinned out and I got that feeling of "ok, it's ready to come back up" finally. So, I get up in the middle of class, practically run to the bathroom and experience my very first PB. Now, I can't really understand why they'd give it such a name as "productive burp". There's nothing burp-like about it, although I can say it was quite productive as I felt so much better afterwards. Never trying to eat anything that fast ever again. I'm glad I now know the awfulness that is the PB and I'll do everything in my power to avoid it.

Moving along, it turns out that I've missed my 6 month bandiversary. It was on the 4th. Oopsies. I'm a little sad about it, but oh well. I've got lots more to focus on. Like my super awesome NSV for example. I'm a rather flexible individual, for a fat person. Up until I got up to about 230, I had been able to touch my nose with my toe. Well folks, I'm able to do it again. I tried just a few days ago and was pleased that it worked out. Something of an odd NSV, but, I'll take it.

And finally, I'm getting pretty excited. Ben and I are looking forward to our 5 year anniversary on the 14th. Because it's a Tuesday, he'll be working and I'll be schooling and working, so we're going to celebrate tomorrow. He's got this big elaborate date planned and it's a surprise, so I'm especially excited about that. He hardly ever surprises me and he's done a very good job of keeping everything a secret. In addition to the date, he got me a Wii Fit, the balance board, and he's going to get me the actual game console today, I think. Super pumped to give it a shot. Also, our local video rental store has a TON of games for it, like Zumba and some other dance one that I'm going to try. I already gave him his gift because I'm just terrible at waiting. My friend is an art major and she does really nice work. I had her paint this picture for him.



He really likes woodsy things-he actually introduced me to the concept of camping. And we both really enjoy autumn, so I wanted those kinds of colors. I think she did a beautiful job on it. And one time, I was looking at rustic wedding invitations that had a path on them and they said "Two lives, One path" and I loved that, so that's on the back along with the date. I'm going to try to take a bunch of pictures tomorrow. He has dinner planned out and I'm actually a bit nervous about that part because I don't know where we're going or even what type of food we'll be eating...we'll see how that goes. Hmm. I think this post is long enough, so I'm going to go do something scholarly. Thanks so much to everyone who commented on yesterday's post. I love that I have this awesome community to celebrate my victories with. You guys rock.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! 

xoxo

I'm OBESE!!! (week 27)

Instead of morbidly obese, I'm just plain old regular obese! Finally! I was honestly getting to a point that I thought this would never happen, but it did. Now, haven't reached the 210 mark that correlates with my height on my doctor's chart for a BMI of 38, but on the regular chart where 40 and above is morbidly obese, I fall at 39.7 as of this morning's weigh in which was 216.9, a loss of 1.4 pounds since last week and 47.5 since surgery. You know, when I walked in to my first weigh in for my 6 month insurance required lifestyle program, I weighed 269 lbs. My BMI was 49.2 and I felt utterly disgusted that I let myself get that way. Now, with over 45 pounds and nearly 10 BMI points gone forever, I feel so proud of myself, happy for the support of my family, friends and this awesome blogging community, and so incredibly blessed to have had the chance to be able to change my life. Do I regret having this procedure? Never. Not for one second. I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I had to do it all over again.

I'll leave on a happy note, because I really wanted to post more but I need to leave soon so I can get to campus early for a meeting. I'll try to post again later but I'm not sure if it'll happen. It's going to be a very busy day. I hope everyone's doing well and thanks for the supportive comments on my last post. I think I may have forgotten to reply to a few of you, and if I did, I'm very sorry. My mind has just been all over the place this week. 

xoxo

Ready for a Make-over

No, not me. My blog! When I set up my blog, I didn't know if I'd really stick with posting all that much. I saw the background that most appealed to me at the time (books) and went with it. Now, after a little over half a year of blogging, I've decided that I'm ready for a bit of a change. I want my blog to be a fun place and while books can be fun, I've had too much reading to do lately and I just want to get away from it. The doodles are fun and girly and cute. They make me happy. Basically, I'm taking my blog from pre-band Jackie to post-band fun and exciting Jackie, the way I wish I could with my wardrobe. Here's what I mean...

This is something that I would wear. It does everything fat Jackie needs it to do: Cover arm fat? Check. Open in front to avoid buttons for fear of popping one: Check. Layers: Check. Show off the girls a bit (still in the mindset from high school that they're my best asset): Check.

My point is, I want to be more than a sweater with a pair of boobs sticking out! I want to be able to wear things that are fun. I'm 23. Yes, I'm going to be a teacher and I need to dress professionally, but I also want to be able to let loose and wear things on the weekends that normal 23 year olds wear. I want to be able to buy a pair of skinny jeans. I'd kill to wear a sweater dress with some leggings and a pair of Uggs (tried it-damn knee fat). I'd love to be able to wear something like this...



 ...without having to worry about a fatty checklist.

So, perhaps I'm going through some sort of identity crisis, I don't know. But, since I can't present myself the way I want to just yet, at least I can present my virtual-self in an appealing way. Did anyone else have issues with identity or is anyone else going through the same thing? It's so weird and I just feel like I don't know what to do about it. The only way that I've found to physically express myself is with my nail art. I'm not that good at make up. I'm practicing though. My hair is awful-curly frizzy mess. And I know I'm supposed to love myself no matter what and I at least like myself for the person that I am, I just wish I could enjoy the outside as much as the inside.

Sorry I was such a Debbie Downer in this one. It wasn't my intention when I sat down and started writing. I guess it's good to get it all off my chest though. I hope everyone has a great week. See you all again on Thursday for weigh in, if not sooner.

xoxo

Oh, Hey New Low! (Week 26 plus a bunch of other stuff)

Busy busy week! Finally getting time to sit down and blog because I skipped class today for my appointment with the PA and don't have to be at work for another 2.5 hours. So, this morning I got to see a new low, which was quite exciting. Ready for it? Drum roll please........218.3 lbs! I'm super excited to finally have a significant loss. That's 1.2 lbs down from last week and 46.1 down from surgery. Probably had something to do with finally going to the gym last night. I'm not going to lie, with all the stuff that's been going on with school and family obligations, I haven't been making the time for it. But, I'm happy to say that Ben has joined me on this lifestyle change and he's been eating well and he's going to be joining me at the gym. I wanted to go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but I'm on campus 9am-9pm on Mondays, and for two weeks in a row I've let that be my excuse for not going. So, I decided to change it to Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday and I'm going to stick to it. I have a lot to talk about today, so I'm going to stop there and move on to something else.

How about my sister-in-law's baby shower that was on Saturday? That's something fun to talk about. It's getting so close to the due date (March 15) I can't believe it. So, I'll just post some pictures of that and let them do the talking.

Cake that I made (I'm kind of super proud of it-my first large-ish scale cake). Chocolate cake, strawberry mousse filling and butter cream frosting. Yes, I had a piece.



Left to Right: Cousin, Grandma, me, cousin, cousin's new baby girl.




Aunts and the second one from the right is my Mommy.




My cousins and I. They got the good genes, I suppose.




Brother Justin and sis-in-law Anna.




Brother




Sister-in-law





My super festive rubber ducky manicure :)



Dinner-Buffet style. Stuffed chicken breast, green beans almondine, heavenly potatoes. This is what I took...



And this is how much I actually ate. I have to get used to not taking such big portions anymore. Silly me.


It was a really good time. I also ate a few bites of salad and a small piece of cake. It was pretty tasty. Although, with all the "tastes" of batter and icing I took while I was making it, I certainly can't say I needed it.

Moving right along to today, I had my appointment with my PA. I forgot to take her my food journal again and she's going to think I'm not actually keeping tabs. I mean, sure there was that weekend thing for a while there, but she only wanted a week's worth and I had that much. I'm a bit upset with myself for forgetting. I'm also a bit upset with myself for not technically reaching the goal I set for myself last visit. Last time I was there, I told her I wanted to be under 220 by today's appointment. I am...when I'm naked. Unfortunately, they don't let you take anything off there, so I weighed in at 221.something. However, in kilograms, that's 100.6, from what they tell me, so I guess I can be excited about the fact that I'm almost in double digits in kg's. I'll take that as a bit of a win. My goal for next time is to be just regular obese instead of morbidly. their chart says that for my height (a mere 5'2") the highest weight to be obese is 210. I think I can do it if I stick to this exercise plan. My next visit is March 12, because that's when I have spring break, so it's just under 6 weeks. I'm sure I can make it happen, especially with Ben on board now. I did get a fill today of .4 ccs, which I guess will do for now. I'm now up to a whopping 2.7 ccs in my either 10 or 11 cc band (haven't looked at the sheet I wrote it down on. I think it's 11). I don't know why she's so reluctant to adjust it. Oh well, such is life. Hopefully it helps.

That's it for now, I think. I'm going to go play with my new nail polishes :)

Hope everyone's having a great week!

xoxo